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The subject of butt jokes...

I’m lying here arse in the air after my bone marrow biopsy. But first a bit of good news. I’ve been staged... all my bloodwork and PT scans came back clean except for this mass in my chest so TA DA... I’m stage 1! Thats great because it means the cancer did not spread And i have a high probability of complete cure. Unfortunately it does not change the fact that I had to have this biopsy and still have to go through 6 rounds of chemo. The dr presumed that I’d never have to have this bone marrow biopsy again as it would probably be negative but still he did this literally bone crushing event. I told him I have a low tolerance for pain. I also told him how in my 20’s I went to a gynecologist for a menstrual issue. During the exam he said “I’m just going to do a biopsy to maybe shake things up and everything will probably be normal.” I remember my mom was

in the waiting room - I was young - I didn’t know what a biopsy really was or what would happen but before I knew it he grabbed and pulled out a piece of my uterus. I screamed amazingly loud. My mom said I cleared the waiting room and she even rushed to the nurse demanding to see me. So my oncologist had all this information before he did this bone marrow biopsy. And still...they numbed my arse (which burned - I yelped and said f**k). Then they stuck what could have been the size of a straw into my butt/hip to withdraw the marrow from the other side of my hip bone. I warned them. They held me down as I screamed and pleaded for them to stop - minutes passed....they must have thicker walls at this drs office. Somehow they managed to get a sample and patch me up with a bandaid. They got my husband from the waiting room...he asked the dr if he could bring his cup of tea to the room - the dr suggested he might need something stronger. I warned them and fortunately we kept the butt jokes to a minimum. My butt still hurts and yet it’s 3 days to my first treatment; hoping mom gets her blood test on chemo tomorrow.

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