Hallelujah! I didn’t get neulasta but a bio similar drug and that goodness there were absolutely NO side effects. I’m not sure if it was the drug or the five days of clartin preceding but it was a welcome reprieve. Unfortunately fatigue still plagued me although I force myself not to allow it to get in the way. After going to the doc today to hear that yep this is all part of the process I went to work and then in the evening spoke on a panel. These were people I never met before and basically never saw before so it felt normal with my “ben Franklin” hair and Burberry woven hat to sit on a cold night and talk about musicals. I’ll take those moments. I’ll take any moment that lets me forget about this terrible disease. They say growing old is not for sissies! They never had cancer!
This week I’m also suffering from major FOMO. In normal times I would be on the other side of the country enjoying festivities and maybe feeling like a little big shot. I know my insecurities would eventually kick in and make me feel smaller but for a bit I might feel special. Now, I’m missing this opportunity although I know I could do it next year. I’ll miss the dress up and seeing friends and of course the hobknobbing. I’m sure it won’t be noticed that I’m not there as I usually would. Most people are just worried about themselves and “the right” parties. I know some close friends might share the gossip of the week. But it won’t be the same. I’ll have to wait till next year. My next treatment (half way point!!!) is in 9 days. My mom is getting her new treatment this week.
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